Lying down in the early hours of the day
Or middle of the night as some would say
Feeding our little one, her warm body close to mine
I watch you from afar
Can’t get to you right now

You’re my best friend, my love
Can you believe this miracle is ours to cherish?
Yet I can’t reach you
Your body so close, your heart faraway
Can’t touch you right now

I watch you sleep peaceful
Once a boy once a man now a father
I’m so proud of you, I’m so grateful
I love you more than ever
But I can’t feel you right now

These were the best of times, these were the worst of times
My heart about to explode watching her rest between our naked bodies
I won the life lottery, my baby
Got a new bestie, wish I haven’t lost the OG
Can you love me right now

As a new mom, I believe the greatest gift we can offer our child is attention. Yes, in the sense of our attention, presence and care to them, but as a skill for them to develop.

The chaotic first weeks

The first few weeks after having a baby are chaotic. You suddenly find yourself with so little time for yourself, yet so little to do with your hands. Between contact naps and hours spent breastfeeding, you’re both super busy and having trouble finding something to do with all those hours spent on the couch looking at all the cleaning there is to do but cannot get to.

Your brain is also fuzzy, you have trouble concentrating on anything for more than a few minutes.

I tried picking up a book. Not super convenient when you’re holding your daughter when nursing. I tried writing with a little notebook. Same issue.

Also have to admit: Instagram was calling me. And all the text messages on Whats app. And all the emails in my very busy mom inbox.

So I found myself on my phone. A lot. More than I’ve ever been. My screen time is through the roof.

Through all that scrolling and thanks to a very sophisticated algorithm, I got fully blasted with all the conscious parenting advice, baby hacks and ways to develop the brain of my 8 weeks old child. She’s not even 2 months and I’m already behind because I didn’t spend the $500 on fancy wooden toys and her play gym.

The mom guilt is real. With so many methods out there, I felt the pressure to pick a lane and go for it. The consequences of not doing it are major: we’re talking about my child not having a well-developed brain. What if she doesn’t grow into her full potential?

The shift

I knew this was major. I was on the verge of subscribing to one of those delivery systems that would alleviate my new-mom guilt by sending in the proper toys so I could finally relax a bit.

Why? Because my brain couldn’t take it anymore. Sleep deprived, I couldn’t read another educational book or see another IG post.

So I turned it off for myself. I needed to consolidate my thoughts. I could see the impact of not having been able to attend at my own meditation practice. My attention was scattered. I was getting caught up in thought forms that weren’t mine, in spiraling non-realities.

I went for a walk with my daughter that night. This time, no podcast. We put on mantras and I sang to her, her warm body slowly relaxing against mine.

That’s when I realized that the biggest gift I could give her was to learn was to pay attention to her surroundings on a walk. Listen to the birds. Look at the flowers. Speak into the windows of the houses we went by to get interior design inspo. Just relax. Learn to be present.

Boredom as fuel for creativity

In this day and age where we’re constantly overstimulated, we’ve forgotten the value of being bored. In the last few days I’ve taken a step back from this hyper stimulation, I’ve been able to reflect on many things without forcing it. I’ve been more aware of the little miracles. I had the mental space to think about this blog post.

Our attention is the most precious currency right now. Everyone wants a piece of it. By protecting it, choosing carefully where we put it, using it with intention, we’re also reclaiming our right to be bored sometimes. And only from that space we’ve created first can we create. When our days are packed with work and our nights spent on our devices, there is no room for creativity.

That’s what we teach our children when we take a step back and learn to deal with the anxiety of doing nothing. We teach them they have the resources within to create, that their physical environment is already full of prompts to spark their creativity, that they can always look around and search within for new ways to express their unique self.

Learning to meditation young

So many of us had to go through major upheavals before figuring out how much meditation is an essential need. Instead of moving through burnout, anxiety and depression before getting there, we have the opportunity to teach our kids right away how to be in the moment.

This doesn’t happen only on a yoga mat with a soothing music playing in the background and a guiding voice to tell you to drop in. This happens on the daily, when waiting in line at the grocery store, while eating your sandwich at lunch, or when your mom is not ready to play with you yet because she’s brushing her teeth. We teach our kids to be ok with being still, to be patient, to feel good with themselves when we allow them those moments of looking around with no specific agenda.

Teach them young, they’ll thank you later.

Put your phone away

I believe it’s way more simple than your algorithm wants you to believe. You don’t need any of the expansive toys those supposedly minimalist methods want you to get. You don’t need to overthink and plan an elaborated agenda for your child to develop their brain starting at 3 weeks old. You don’t need to read all those books and watch the seminars and follow the courses of those children experts.

All you need to do as a parent is to put your phone away and pay attention to your child. Look at them in the eyes. Observe what they’re interested in. Tell them about what you’re doing. Ask them questions about the game they’re playing.

What you’re modeling will go a much longer way than any perfect combination of activities and games set in a perfect schedule for a perfect development. If you model how you choose with intention where you focus your attention, you’ll teach them to do the same. They’ll be in the power seat when they grow up to choose a higher frequency of thoughts and not get caught up into the algorithms. They’ll be able to make conscious choices on how they want to live, with their head, heart and soul aligned, because they will be able to sit still and get quiet enough to listen to their intuition. They’ll be able to choose to embrace their destiny over fate.

And that my friend is the greatest gift you can offer them.

It’s a funny thing
Being your mother

I had 9 months to prepare
Yet I don’t feel quite ready
I still feel like you came out of nowhere
An apparition full of bliss

After hosting both our souls
I got smaller all of a sudden
From belly to boobies
You were in my arms to carry

I take care of you all day and all night
I love you to the moon and back
Yet it’s a funny thing being your mother
I can’t quite figure out what it is for me

It’s as if I got delivered the most precious little package
Without the instruction manual or the Ikea key
You’re a puzzle to me
Or maybe more of a mystery

Your soul is so unique
You are wise beyond
I guess I feel a little intimidated
Being the mother of such an old light being

No need to worry we got plenty of time
To solve this daughter equation
But who knows if there will ever be a definite answer
To what it means to be your mother

Let it rip
Go all in
What are you afraid of

You’re spending so much time doing your own PR
All that energy wasted
What will you do with that one precious life

The choice is yours
Live it for others or make it your own
Keep pretending or speak the truth
Hide behind conventions or show your true colours

You think it doesn’t matter
You’re wrong
Every decision, every action
Has a reaction, a repercussion

The more you be, the more we all
You got very little time of your end
The clock is ticking
Liberation now, is yours to take

If only you go for it
What are you afraid of

Tu fais la sieste mon bébé
Ça fait déjà quelques heures
Je te porte contre mon cœur
Ta petite tête lourde sur ma poitrine

C’est long
Fatiguée, je n’arrive pas à trouver le sommeil
Une partie de moi veut rester
Éveillée

Dans une espèce de transe
Je regarde le vide
Mon cerveau à off
Mon cœur qui prend toute la place

Quelque part entre midi et quatorze heures
J’ai trouvé une paix intérieure
Tu m’apaises, mon cœur
Dans ces moments de rien
Nos âmes s’accordent
C’est peut-être juste ça, le bonheur

My little bundle of love
A warm precious package
That I’d never return or exchange

Watching you sleep
My heart pours over you
Rainbows and sunshine rays
Like the Care Bear Mama

Yet I feel lonely today
My cup’s a bit empty, I cannot lie
Giving you my everything
And no one’s pouring in

You’re dressed quite funny
You got a style of your own
Little pink dresses aren’t your thing
You’re already too punk rock to play that game

Vintage 90s clothes
Flashy neon leggings and ruffles
You can wear anything and make it cool
A fashionista, a trendsetter

You got the attitude to match the outfit
An “I don’t give a damn” that makes you so attractive
You’re the kind of girl that leads the way
The kind of girl we wish we’d all be friends with

Keep showing all your colors
Let your personality shine through
The world needs more people like you
My favorite, Miss Froufrous

The nurses, they carry you
Talking to you like a little lady
Moving you around like a baby

They haven’t locked eyes with you
Otherwise they’d know
This isn’t your first rodeo

Oh wise soul, blessed old soul
You’ve come to teach us all
About the wonders we’ve missed all along

Come on, you say
Follow my lead I’ll show you the way
How to be really happy
How to live in joy and harmony

This isn’t my first rodeo
It’s gonna be my best one
Actually this might be the last
Wanna join me for this wild ride?